Mindful Music Listening for Grief

The definition of mindfulness to which I feel most drawn comes from Jon Kabat-Zinn: Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally (www.mindful.org).

Take a few mindful breaths as you check in with yourself about your current relationship with music. There might be some songs, musical artists or genres you’re avoiding because of their associations with your grief. That’s a common response to loss, and is okay— it may also change over time. The important thing is that you’re aware of it now.

Once you’re feeling more mindful, you are empowered to consider what you need. If you’re aware that your relationship with music has changed, how can you remain connected with music as a resource to help you through your grief? How can you find something new? Maybe there are some less emotionally-charged songs that can help uplift you, or new music you can explore to find motivation, take a break, or even coax a smile to your lips.

Or, you might want to discover music that helps reflect and honor your sadness and remind you that it’s normal. It may feel important to not already have a personal connection to these songs.

You can use a streaming platform to find artists and songs similar to those you already like. Find new-to-you music by playing a familiar song and letting the app auto-play with new suggestions. Or, check out playlists of suggested music that may be compiled for you on the app’s home page. Make note of specific songs you connect with as you find them, or save them to your favorites.

Once you have a set of songs, arrange them in a playlist according to how you would like to hear them. If the songs have words, you might delve into the lyrics and order the tracks based on meaningful themes. You might consider the musical mood of each song and group them that way. Remember that playlists don’t have to be long. Even groups of three songs could provide a 10-15 minute opportunity for mindful awareness.

Next, listen. I encourage you to do this, at least the first time through, without multitasking. This is an example of a mindfulness practice. Focus on your breathing or feel the sensation of your feet on the Earth while you take in the songs that you have lovingly selected for yourself. You might also journal right after listening, writing down emotions, thoughts or sensations that came to you during the experience.

Your playlists will change, just as your grief does. To return to the definition of mindfulness— try not to judge yourself for wherever you are right now. Tomorrow is a new day, and with it may come a new song.